Dirt: Planet of the apes

An NFT Dictionary

Dirt is a daily email about entertainment.

Benjamin Powers breaks down the lingo of the cryptoverse.

If you’ve spent time on Twitter, you’ve almost inevitably come across CT, otherwise known as Crypto Twitter™. If you haven’t, bless you. This vein of twitter is filled with obscure acronyms, seemingly untethered references, and opaque allusions. It’s also a breeding ground for memes. Don’t worry if you don’t understand them; they have arisen organically out of years of pumping, dumping, yolo-ing, trading, and all the other things the cryptocurrency community does. As a tech journalist who has spent years in the crypto content mines, I’ve compiled a list of common slang terms to help educate the masses. So read on, masses. 

Ape - Absolutely yeeting yourself into a new coin while doing little to no research. No apes were harmed in the creation of this term. 

HFSP (Have Fun Staying Poor) - A term used to disparage those who question or side-eye crypto markets. Alternatively, when someone sells their bitcoin, it can be a classic rejoinder. When you’re crushed under the boot of capitalism, the only way to go is up......right?

Wagmi (We’re All Gonna Make It)/ Ngmi (Not Gonna Make It) - Wagmi is a sign of solidarity with fellow traders or investors generally when bags are pumping. Call it a rallying cry of mass psychosis, for better or for worse. On the flip side, Ngmi refers to the futility of endeavors in trading and beyond (no one has ever felt like this riiiight). There is even a coin called Loser coin which was created to go to zero by folks who just never think they’ll get ahead. 

Gm (Good morning) - Good morning. Sometimes crypto twitter is pleasant. 

Whale alert/whale sighting - Because bitcoin holdings are public, you can see who owns a hell of a lot of them. These people are called whales. When a big heckin unit of bitcoin is sold, or starts to move, it’s called a whale alert or sighting, as a big sell-off can cause a price dip. 

To the moon - The mantra crypto traders mutter in their sleep in the hopes of sending prices sky high. Can sometimes refer to a 100x price increase. 

Buy the dip - Almost as soon as bitcoin in particular pulls back on its price, you’ll see multitudes of tweets going out about “buying the dip.” This simply means that people are buying at nearly any price decrease with the belief that the price will rebound and continue to rise. It should be pointed out that buying large amounts of bitcoin can also cause the price to rise as well. 

Weak hands/diamond hands - Diamond hands refers to traders or bag holders that will die on the hill that is their bags. They won't sell off at the first sign of a rough patch. On the other hand, some hands be weak. This refers to people who are easily shook and sell off an asset as soon as they’re in the green or break even. 

Degen - Short for degenerate, a degen is someone who apes (see definition number one above) into a coin without doing much research. Instead of seeing something as a value, they may think it’s cute (hello Shiba Inu coin) or because they believe others might join them to wildly speculate on the price. 

Maxi - Short for maximalist, this term denotes the most tribal of the tribes around various crypto currencies. Most commonly used for Bitcoin maximalists, Maxi’s see other coins as inferior and will stan their coin until the end because they see it as the one true way to get out of centralized economic systems. 

HODL - This one is mildly controversial as it’s originally a misspelling of HOLD that has come to mean Hold On For Dear Life. The idea being that you must hold on, and just keep holding on, and then just keep holding onto your bags some more. If you do, the price will eventually rise and you’ll be rich and can retire. Or buy a lambo. — By Benjamin Powers

The Dirt: Buy the dip, short the VIX, fuck Bitcoin.